Across our social and political landscape, the fractures of polarisation continue to deepen. In recent years, we’ve seen the country divided over Brexit, COVID, education, policing, immigration, and many other issues. Tribes form not just around ideas, but identities, fortified by misinformation, mistrust and fear. Many of us hold different views to our family, friends and colleagues, yet feel unsure how to voice them without causing conflict. Others find tension building in relationships because of clumsy or overheated conversations. In this climate, forming real and lasting relationships with people we disagree with can feel incredibly challenging.
At St Ethelburga’s, we believe another way is not only possible, but urgently needed. As reconcilers, we have spent years developing practices that help people stay in relationship across difference, practices rooted in deep listening, emotional resilience, and the courage to remain present when conversations get uncomfortable. Out of this work, and drawing on models of conflict resolution and bridge-building from around the world, we created LEAP IN: a simple, structured framework that helps people navigate difficult conversations with clarity, compassion and integrity.
This short course introduces the LEAP IN model and gives you the chance to practise it through real-life scenarios. Our hope is that it equips you to hold conversations that are more rooted, more spacious, and more capable of strengthening relationships even when disagreement remains.
The LEAP IN model is a structured communication framework for difficult conversations.
It stands for Listen, Empathise, Ask, Paraphrase, Input and Name.
It’s based on Dr. Xavier Amador and George J. Thompson’s LEAP’s model, and has been further developed by St Ethelburga’s team to include steps for asserting your own perspective, based on tried and tested conflict-resolution techniques. Each step helps keep the conversation respectful and constructive:
Give the speaker your full, undivided attention. Don’t interrupt or jump in with counter-arguments. Instead, use body language (nodding, eye-contact) and short acknowledgments (“mm-hmm”) to show you’re paying attention.
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings or point of view, even if you don’t agree. Say something that shows you understand how they feel. Empathising helps the other person feel heard, which lowers their defenses and keeps the dialogue open.
Invite the other person to explain more. Use open-ended questions (those that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”) to learn what’s really on their mind. For example: “What part of this issue concerns you most?” or “Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?” This shows genuine interest (you’re asking to understand) and encourages them to share the underlying values or fears behind their statements.Invite the other person to explain more. Use open-ended questions (those that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”) to show that you’re curious to learn more about their perspective. For example: “What part of this issue concerns you most?” or “Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?” This shows genuine interest (you’re asking to understand) and encourages them to share the underlying values or fears behind their statements.
After they speak, repeat back in your own words what you heard, to check understanding. This step (reflecting their message) not only confirms you’re listening, but also lets them correct you if you After they speak, repeat back in your own words what you heard, to check understanding. This step (reflecting their message) not only confirms you’re listening, but also lets them correct you if you misunderstood. Paraphrasing can sound like: “It sounds like …” or “You’re saying that …” – phrases that signal you are capturing their meaning.misunderstood. Paraphrasing can sound like: “It sounds like …” or “You’re saying that …” – phrases that signal you are capturing their meaning.
When it’s your turn to speak, frame your thoughts in terms of your own experience and feelings, not as a judgment on the other person. Using “I” rather than “you” keeps the tone personal and non-accusatory. Research shows that I-statements and expressing your perspective calmly greatly reduce defensiveness and hostility[4]. They convey “this is my view” rather than “you are wrong.”
Find and state something you both agree on. This might be a shared value, a mutual concern, or a common goal. By explicitly naming this point of agreement, you create a sense of connection and show that you’re listening. This step builds trust – reminding both of you that, despite differences, you’re not on opposite sides of everything. Instead of critiquing the other person’s view, explain how your opinion flows from a shared principle. This helps them hear your point as sincere and values-driven, rather than oppositional.
Together, these steps lead to more constructive and respectful conversations. You begin by listening and building empathy, then move to asking thoughtful questions and paraphrasing to show understanding. Once the other person feels heard, you introduce your own perspective using I-statements, linking your view to the values you both named and grounding it in shared principles.
In short: LEAP IN helps shift conversations from arguments to dialogue—by pairing active listening (Listen–Empathise–Ask–Paraphrase) with thoughtful expression (I-statement–Name–Ground).
Next, we invite you to put your LEAP IN skills into practice by engaging in an exercise that models how to have a conversation across differences. The exercise contains conversational scenarios exploring real issues that can often provoke strong opinions and emotional reactions.
To put your LEAP IN skills into practise, each scenario has a “Listening Practice” section (focusing on the Listen, Empathise, Ask, and Paraphrase steps of LEAP IN) and a “Speaking Practice” section (focusing on the Input, and Name steps of LEAP IN).
To make these exercises meaningful, the examples include well-reasoned and clearly expressed versions of opposing viewpoints. In some cases, these arguments may sound more balanced or articulate than you might encounter in real life - that’s intentional. The goal is to give you the chance to engage with a strong version of a perspective you might disagree with, while practising how to stay calm, curious, and connected in conversation
Below, you’ll see a range of topics that often prompt polarising responses. For each topic, we offer two perspectives. We suggest that you choose the scenario that feels closest to your own perspective.
Immigration is often politically contentious because it touches on issues of national identity, economic impact, and social cohesion. Some people argue that high levels of illegal immigration threaten cultural traditions and strain public services. Others are concerned about the safety and rights of illegal migrants and point out that many are fleeing war and persecution.
Climate is often politically contentious because it raises questions about economic stability, national responsibility, and fairness. Some argue that urgent action — including rapid emission cuts and clean-energy investment — is essential to protect the planet and future generations. Others worry that Net Zero targets are unrealistic or unfair, placing heavy costs on working families and disrupting key industries.
Debates about gender identity and sex-based rights have become deeply polarising because they involve questions of safety, dignity, and inclusion. Some people argue that recognising gender identity — including allowing trans women access to women’s spaces — is essential for ensuring safety and equal treatment for a vulnerable minority. Others, often described as holding gender-critical views, worry that changes to long-standing sex-based boundaries could undermine women’s privacy, safeguarding, and language, or conflict with cultural or faith-based beliefs.
An important note: In this quiz, we are looking for the best of the alternatives given. Some responses might be reasonable things to say, but one choice is usually the most skillful option for that moment in the conversation. Focus on whether the response reflects good LEAP IN communication skills — rather than whether you personally agree with it. For example, if an answer begins with “I can see that we both value…” remember it’s attempting to use a communication skill (naming shared values), even if you don’t personally share that view.
Context:
At a family gathering, the TV is on in the background playing a live debate show. A guest on the panel argues that more needs to be done to stop migrants crossing the English Channel illegally in small boats, describing the situation as “out of control.” Your uncle, who supports a tough approach to immigration, nods and says:“He’s right. We have to do something about all these illegal immigrants. It is out of control! There are tens of thousands of crossings every year. We don't know who these migrants are, where they come from or what their values are.
Your uncle is concerned about illegal immigration, and he starts by saying the situation is“out of control”. Based on LEAP IN skills, which response is the best example of listening, empathising and paraphrasing?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
This response paraphrases and acknowledges his concern (“you’re worried… out of control”), which shows active listening and empathy without judgment. It mirrors his words to confirm understanding. All the other choices either challenge or argue (“Where’s the evidence?”), which would likely put him on the defensive. By contrast, B signals, “I hear you,” helping him feel understood. When people feel heard, they are usually more open to continuing the conversation calmly.
Correct - Answer B is best.
This response paraphrases and acknowledges his concern (“you’re worried… out of control”), which shows active listening and empathy without judgment. It mirrors his words to confirm understanding. All the other choices either challenge or argue (“Where’s the evidence?”), which would likely put him on the defensive. By contrast, B signals, “I hear you,” helping him feel understood. When people feel heard, they are usually more open to continuing the conversation calmly.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
This response paraphrases and acknowledges his concern (“you’re worried… out of control”), which shows active listening and empathy without judgment. It mirrors his words to confirm understanding. All the other choices either challenge or argue (“Where’s the evidence?”), which would likely put him on the defensive. By contrast, B signals, “I hear you,” helping him feel understood. When people feel heard, they are usually more open to continuing the conversation calmly.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
This response paraphrases and acknowledges his concern (“you’re worried… out of control”), which shows active listening and empathy without judgment. It mirrors his words to confirm understanding. All the other choices either challenge or argue (“Where’s the evidence?”), which would likely put him on the defensive. By contrast, B signals, “I hear you,” helping him feel understood. When people feel heard, they are usually more open to continuing the conversation calmly.
Your uncle continues: “Exactly. From what I’ve seen, a lot of the people coming over have their own belief system - and that’s fair enough, but it clearly doesn’t match up with ours and they don’t do enough to integrate into the Western worldview. Multiculturalism only works if you have a well managed system. People need to be vetted - otherwise, it’s a huge security risk.”
You’ve been listening so far. What is the best open question to ask now?
Correct - Answer A is best.
First, you start by demonstrating again that you’re listening and that you empathise with his perspective. Then, you ask an open-ended question, without any criticism or judgement. This signals to your uncle that it is safe for him to share more of his perspective with you and invites him to explain his deeper concerns. Once he feels heard, you can later share your own perspective more effectively and look for shared values (for example, wanting fairness or safety for both migrants and UK citizens).
Not quite. Answer A is best.
First, you start by demonstrating again that you’re listening and that you empathise with his perspective. Then, you ask an open-ended question, without any criticism or judgement. This signals to your uncle that it is safe for him to share more of his perspective with you and invites him to explain his deeper concerns. Once he feels heard, you can later share your own perspective more effectively and look for shared values (for example, wanting fairness or safety for both migrants and UK citizens).
Not quite. Answer A is best.
First, you start by demonstrating again that you’re listening and that you empathise with his perspective. Then, you ask an open-ended question, without any criticism or judgement. This signals to your uncle that it is safe for him to share more of his perspective with you and invites him to explain his deeper concerns. Once he feels heard, you can later share your own perspective more effectively and look for shared values (for example, wanting fairness or safety for both migrants and UK citizens).
Not quite. Answer A is best.
First, you start by demonstrating again that you’re listening and that you empathise with his perspective. Then, you ask an open-ended question, without any criticism or judgement. This signals to your uncle that it is safe for him to share more of his perspective with you and invites him to explain his deeper concerns. Once he feels heard, you can later share your own perspective more effectively and look for shared values (for example, wanting fairness or safety for both migrants and UK citizens).
You’ve listened, empathised, asked, and paraphrased — now it’s time to practice offering your input, making sure you use I-statements and name your shared values.
You start to respond. Which of these is the best first statement to name where you agree?
Not quite. Answer D is best.
This statement names a shared concern — that you both care about making the country as safe as possible for all people. Starting with agreement shows respect and builds rapport. It communicates: “We share common values." Options A–C fail to follow the Name step of LEAP IN because they jump straight into stating facts or argumentation. By contrast, D begins with connection rather than correction. It helps your uncle feel heard and sets a constructive tone for the rest of the discussion.
Not quite. Answer D is best.
This statement names a shared concern — that you both care about making the country as safe as possible for all people. Starting with agreement shows respect and builds rapport. It communicates: “We share common values." Options A–C fail to follow the Name step of LEAP IN because they jump straight into stating facts or argumentation. By contrast, D begins with connection rather than correction. It helps your uncle feel heard and sets a constructive tone for the rest of the discussion.
Not quite. Answer D is best.
This statement names a shared concern — that you both care about making the country as safe as possible for all people. Starting with agreement shows respect and builds rapport. It communicates: “We share common values." Options A–C fail to follow the Name step of LEAP IN because they jump straight into stating facts or argumentation. By contrast, D begins with connection rather than correction. It helps your uncle feel heard and sets a constructive tone for the rest of the discussion.
Correct - Answer D is best.
This statement names a shared concern — that you both care about making the country as safe as possible for all people. Starting with agreement shows respect and builds rapport. It communicates: “We share common values." Options A–C fail to follow the Name step of LEAP IN because they jump straight into stating facts or argumentation. By contrast, D begins with connection rather than correction. It helps your uncle feel heard and sets a constructive tone for the rest of the discussion.
Having named your shared values, now it’s time to offer your input, making sure you use I-statements and that you ground what you say in the shared values you have identified.
Which is the best way to do that respectfully?
Not quite - Answer C is best.
C models the key skills of this stage - sharing your input using I-statements and naming your shared values. It begins by recognising the other person’s valid concern about safety (“I can understand there are real challenges…”) before offering a personal reflection rooted in fairness, security, and compassion. By mentioning friends affected by the issue, it brings sincerity and emotional depth without blaming or lecturing. This approach helps you to build genuine connection with your uncle, showing where your values align and framing the issue of security as something you both care about and could try to tackle together.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C models the key skills of this stage - sharing your input using I-statements and naming your shared values. It begins by recognising the other person’s valid concern about safety (“I can understand there are real challenges…”) before offering a personal reflection rooted in fairness, security, and compassion. By mentioning friends affected by the issue, it brings sincerity and emotional depth without blaming or lecturing. This approach helps you to build genuine connection with your uncle, showing where your values align and framing the issue of security as something you both care about and could try to tackle together.
Correct - Answer C is best.
C models the key skills of this stage - sharing your input using I-statements and naming your shared values. It begins by recognising the other person’s valid concern about safety (“I can understand there are real challenges…”) before offering a personal reflection rooted in fairness, security, and compassion. By mentioning friends affected by the issue, it brings sincerity and emotional depth without blaming or lecturing. This approach helps you to build genuine connection with your uncle, showing where your values align and framing the issue of security as something you both care about and could try to tackle together.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C models the key skills of this stage - sharing your input using I-statements and naming your shared values. It begins by recognising the other person’s valid concern about safety (“I can understand there are real challenges…”) before offering a personal reflection rooted in fairness, security, and compassion. By mentioning friends affected by the issue, it brings sincerity and emotional depth without blaming or lecturing. This approach helps you to build genuine connection with your uncle, showing where your values align and framing the issue of security as something you both care about and could try to tackle together.
Your uncle frowns and says:
“I get what you’re saying, I really do — and I’m sorry to hear your friends don’t feel safe. No one should feel that way in this country. But you have to understand why people are angry. It’s not just about a few boats — it’s about everything that comes with it. We’ve got record migration numbers, the asylum system is costing billions, and meanwhile people here can’t get housing or NHS appointments. We’re told there’s no money for services, but somehow there’s money for hotels. There’s also a sense that our values — fairness, law and order, even free speech — are eroding, and that the government isn’t being honest with us. When people see chaos at the border, it feels like a symbol of a country that’s lost control. If we don’t get a grip, the extremists on all sides will keep exploiting that anger.
There’s also a real fear that our borders aren’t secure and that we don’t actually know who’s coming in. In a world where terrorism and organised crime are real threats, people want to feel safe — and they don’t trust that the system is protecting them. On top of that, there’s a sense that British values — fairness, law and order, even free speech — are being undermined, while some political elites seem more concerned about looking compassionate than about keeping the country safe. For a lot of people, the small boats have become a symbol of a deeper problem: a government that’s lost control, and a West that’s losing confidence in itself. If we don’t get a grip soon, the extremists on all sides will keep exploiting that fear and resentment.”
What is your best response now to offer your perspective, applying LEAP IN?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B begins with genuine empathy (“I hear you”) and shows that you’ve really understood what’s driving your uncle’s concerns — not just frustration about small boats, but deeper worries about fairness, safety, trust, and national values. It acknowledges that sense of order and security as legitimate, rather than dismissing it. This makes B a model of how to LEAP IN by staying values-based, curious, and solution-oriented.
Correct - Answer B is best.
B begins with genuine empathy (“I hear you”) and shows that you’ve really understood what’s driving your uncle’s concerns — not just frustration about small boats, but deeper worries about fairness, safety, trust, and national values. It acknowledges that sense of order and security as legitimate, rather than dismissing it. This makes B a model of how to LEAP IN by staying values-based, curious, and solution-oriented.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B begins with genuine empathy (“I hear you”) and shows that you’ve really understood what’s driving your uncle’s concerns — not just frustration about small boats, but deeper worries about fairness, safety, trust, and national values. It acknowledges that sense of order and security as legitimate, rather than dismissing it. This makes B a model of how to LEAP IN by staying values-based, curious, and solution-oriented.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B begins with genuine empathy (“I hear you”) and shows that you’ve really understood what’s driving your uncle’s concerns — not just frustration about small boats, but deeper worries about fairness, safety, trust, and national values. It acknowledges that sense of order and security as legitimate, rather than dismissing it. This makes B a model of how to LEAP IN by staying values-based, curious, and solution-oriented.
An important note: In this quiz, we are looking for the best of the alternatives given. Some responses might be reasonable things to say, but one choice is usually the most skillful option for that moment in the conversation. Focus on whether the response reflects good LEAP IN communication skills — rather than whether you personally agree with it. For example, if an answer begins with “I can see that we both value…” remember it’s attempting to use a communication skill (naming shared values), even if you don’t personally share that view.
Context:
At a family gathering, the TV is on in the background playing a live debate show. A guest on the panel argues that more needs to be done to stop migrants crossing the English Channel illegally in small boats, describing the situation as “out of control.” Your cousin, who is very sympathetic to refugees, frowns at the mention of stricter border enforcement and says:
“This is just so cruel. These people are risking everything to find safety, and we’re treating them like criminals. Most are fleeing war or persecution, not looking for handouts. Instead of helping, we’re spending millions trying to push them away. I just don’t understand how anyone can see families in those boats and think punishment is the answer. What frustrates me most is how politicians and the media keep blowing this up like it’s the country’s biggest problem. It’s not — and going on and on about it like this is just fuelling fear and division, and it ends up hurting minority communities who already face prejudice. It feels like compassion has completely gone out of fashion.”
Your cousin is upset at the mention of stricter border enforcement given the impact this will have on migrants. What is the best listening/empathetic response to start?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
Response B paraphrases and empathises by reflecting not just your cousin’s feelings but the deeper concerns behind them. This kind of response shows that you’ve truly listened and understood what matters most to her. In LEAP IN, the first step is Listen/Empathise — to build trust and emotional safety, not to correct or counter. By choosing B, you show genuine curiosity and care, creating the foundation for an open, values-based conversation across difference.
Correct - Answer B is best.
Response B paraphrases and empathises by reflecting not just your cousin’s feelings but the deeper concerns behind them. This kind of response shows that you’ve truly listened and understood what matters most to her. In LEAP IN, the first step is Listen/Empathise — to build trust and emotional safety, not to correct or counter. By choosing B, you show genuine curiosity and care, creating the foundation for an open, values-based conversation across difference.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
Response B paraphrases and empathises by reflecting not just your cousin’s feelings but the deeper concerns behind them. This kind of response shows that you’ve truly listened and understood what matters most to her. In LEAP IN, the first step is Listen/Empathise — to build trust and emotional safety, not to correct or counter. By choosing B, you show genuine curiosity and care, creating the foundation for an open, values-based conversation across difference.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
Response B paraphrases and empathises by reflecting not just your cousin’s feelings but the deeper concerns behind them. This kind of response shows that you’ve truly listened and understood what matters most to her. In LEAP IN, the first step is Listen/Empathise — to build trust and emotional safety, not to correct or counter. By choosing B, you show genuine curiosity and care, creating the foundation for an open, values-based conversation across difference.
Your cousin nods and continues passionately: “Exactly. These people risk everything to come here, and instead of showing compassion, we treat them like a threat. It’s dangerous and irresponsible the way the media keeps focusing on this issue — they play on people’s fears and make communities turn against each other. You can already see how it’s fuelling the far right and giving extremists something to feed on. Politicians know this, but they keep doing it because it wins them votes. It’s not just unfair, it’s reckless. Every time the headlines scream about ‘small boats’ or an ‘invasion’, it makes ordinary people more fearful and angry, and that just pushes the country further apart. I honestly think the way we talk about this issue is doing more damage than the issue itself.”
You’ve listened. What is your best open question now?
Correct - Answer A is best.
A is best. It asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your cousin’s deeper worries and values. By saying, “What concerns you most…”, you invite her to explain what drives her feelings, without interrupting or arguing. This reflects the Ask step in LEAP IN: staying open to understanding before sharing your own view. Options B, C, and D, while all factually grounded, move too quickly into advocacy or argument. By choosing A, you stay in a position of curiosity and connection, keeping your cousin open to deeper dialogue rather than defensiveness.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
A is best. It asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your cousin’s deeper worries and values. By saying, “What concerns you most…”, you invite her to explain what drives her feelings, without interrupting or arguing. This reflects the Ask step in LEAP IN: staying open to understanding before sharing your own view. Options B, C, and D, while all factually grounded, move too quickly into advocacy or argument. By choosing A, you stay in a position of curiosity and connection, keeping your cousin open to deeper dialogue rather than defensiveness.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
A is best. It asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your cousin’s deeper worries and values. By saying, “What concerns you most…”, you invite her to explain what drives her feelings, without interrupting or arguing. This reflects the Ask step in LEAP IN: staying open to understanding before sharing your own view. Options B, C, and D, while all factually grounded, move too quickly into advocacy or argument. By choosing A, you stay in a position of curiosity and connection, keeping your cousin open to deeper dialogue rather than defensiveness.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
A is best. It asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your cousin’s deeper worries and values. By saying, “What concerns you most…”, you invite her to explain what drives her feelings, without interrupting or arguing. This reflects the Ask step in LEAP IN: staying open to understanding before sharing your own view. Options B, C, and D, while all factually grounded, move too quickly into advocacy or argument. By choosing A, you stay in a position of curiosity and connection, keeping your cousin open to deeper dialogue rather than defensiveness.
You’ve listened, empathised, asked, and paraphrased — now it’s time to practice offering your input, making sure you use I-statements and name your shared values.
You start to respond. Which of these is the best first statement to name where you agree?
Not quite. Answer D is best.
This statement begins by naming shared values — fairness, safety, humanity, and wanting the best for everyone. This reflects the Name step of LEAP IN which focuses on connection before perspective. By highlighting mutual concerns (“fair” and “humane”), you show your cousin that you’re not dismissing her compassion, and that you care about decency too. This establishes trust and openness before you share your own view. Options A–C all present legitimate, fact-based arguments. However, all three skip the crucial LEAP IN step of finding connection first. They assert positions instead of acknowledging shared values or emotions, which risks closing down the dialogue. By choosing D, you build rapport and keep the focus on shared humanity — the foundation for a constructive, values-based conversation.
Not quite. Answer D is best.
This statement begins by naming shared values — fairness, safety, humanity, and wanting the best for everyone. This reflects the Name step of LEAP IN which focuses on connection before perspective. By highlighting mutual concerns (“fair” and “humane”), you show your cousin that you’re not dismissing her compassion, and that you care about decency too. This establishes trust and openness before you share your own view. Options A–C all present legitimate, fact-based arguments. However, all three skip the crucial LEAP IN step of finding connection first. They assert positions instead of acknowledging shared values or emotions, which risks closing down the dialogue. By choosing D, you build rapport and keep the focus on shared humanity — the foundation for a constructive, values-based conversation.
Not quite. Answer D is best.
This statement begins by naming shared values — fairness, safety, humanity, and wanting the best for everyone. This reflects the Name step of LEAP IN which focuses on connection before perspective. By highlighting mutual concerns (“fair” and “humane”), you show your cousin that you’re not dismissing her compassion, and that you care about decency too. This establishes trust and openness before you share your own view. Options A–C all present legitimate, fact-based arguments. However, all three skip the crucial LEAP IN step of finding connection first. They assert positions instead of acknowledging shared values or emotions, which risks closing down the dialogue. By choosing D, you build rapport and keep the focus on shared humanity — the foundation for a constructive, values-based conversation.
Correct - Answer D is best.
This statement begins by naming shared values — fairness, safety, humanity, and wanting the best for everyone. This reflects the Name step of LEAP IN which focuses on connection before perspective. By highlighting mutual concerns (“fair” and “humane”), you show your cousin that you’re not dismissing her compassion, and that you care about decency too. This establishes trust and openness before you share your own view. Options A–C all present legitimate, fact-based arguments. However, all three skip the crucial LEAP IN step of finding connection first. They assert positions instead of acknowledging shared values or emotions, which risks closing down the dialogue. By choosing D, you build rapport and keep the focus on shared humanity — the foundation for a constructive, values-based conversation.
Having named your shared values, now it’s time to offer your input, making sure you use I-statements and that you ground what you say in the shared values you have identified. Which is the best way to do that respectfully?
Not quite - Answer C is best.
Response C uses I-statements (“I agree…”, “I want…”, “I think…”) to express a personal, thoughtful viewpoint rather than an argument. It recognises your cousin’s concerns about compassion and safety while also naming the pressures that can arise when systems are overstretched. By grounding your view in shared values like fairness, safety, and care for everyone in the country, you show genuine empathy for both asylum seekers and local communities. This is a strong example of the Input and Name steps in LEAP IN: you offer your perspective honestly, link it to mutual values, and model a more balanced, humane way of talking about a polarising issue.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
Response C uses I-statements (“I agree…”, “I want…”, “I think…”) to express a personal, thoughtful viewpoint rather than an argument. It recognises your cousin’s concerns about compassion and safety while also naming the pressures that can arise when systems are overstretched. By grounding your view in shared values like fairness, safety, and care for everyone in the country, you show genuine empathy for both asylum seekers and local communities. This is a strong example of the Input and Name steps in LEAP IN: you offer your perspective honestly, link it to mutual values, and model a more balanced, humane way of talking about a polarising issue.
Correct - Answer C is best.
Response C uses I-statements (“I agree…”, “I want…”, “I think…”) to express a personal, thoughtful viewpoint rather than an argument. It recognises your cousin’s concerns about compassion and safety while also naming the pressures that can arise when systems are overstretched. By grounding your view in shared values like fairness, safety, and care for everyone in the country, you show genuine empathy for both asylum seekers and local communities. This is a strong example of the Input and Name steps in LEAP IN: you offer your perspective honestly, link it to mutual values, and model a more balanced, humane way of talking about a polarising issue.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
Response C uses I-statements (“I agree…”, “I want…”, “I think…”) to express a personal, thoughtful viewpoint rather than an argument. It recognises your cousin’s concerns about compassion and safety while also naming the pressures that can arise when systems are overstretched. By grounding your view in shared values like fairness, safety, and care for everyone in the country, you show genuine empathy for both asylum seekers and local communities. This is a strong example of the Input and Name steps in LEAP IN: you offer your perspective honestly, link it to mutual values, and model a more balanced, humane way of talking about a polarising issue.
Your cousin responds: “I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think the problem is the people arriving; it’s the way the system is managed and how the issue’s been framed. The numbers are actually manageable compared to other countries, but we keep hearing that it’s ‘out of control,’ and that language just feeds panic. Honestly, I think the fear and hostility are doing more harm than migration itself. Most of these people just want to work, contribute, and live safely. If we invested properly in processing claims and integration instead of treating them like a threat, we’d reduce tension and make communities feel safer, not the other way around.”
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B begins by naming shared values — humanity and safety for everyone. By acknowledging that compassion must extend both to those seeking refuge and to people already living here, it builds trust and balance. The response then moves beyond blame to explore what’s really driving public fear: rapid change, overstretched services, and communities feeling ignored. This approach recognises legitimate anxieties without endorsing hostility. It’s a clear example of a LEAP IN— listening first, finding shared moral ground, and speaking with calm honesty rather than opposition.
Correct - Answer B is best.
B begins by naming shared values — humanity and safety for everyone. By acknowledging that compassion must extend both to those seeking refuge and to people already living here, it builds trust and balance. The response then moves beyond blame to explore what’s really driving public fear: rapid change, overstretched services, and communities feeling ignored. This approach recognises legitimate anxieties without endorsing hostility. It’s a clear example of a LEAP IN— listening first, finding shared moral ground, and speaking with calm honesty rather than opposition.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B begins by naming shared values — humanity and safety for everyone. By acknowledging that compassion must extend both to those seeking refuge and to people already living here, it builds trust and balance. The response then moves beyond blame to explore what’s really driving public fear: rapid change, overstretched services, and communities feeling ignored. This approach recognises legitimate anxieties without endorsing hostility. It’s a clear example of a LEAP IN— listening first, finding shared moral ground, and speaking with calm honesty rather than opposition.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B begins by naming shared values — humanity and safety for everyone. By acknowledging that compassion must extend both to those seeking refuge and to people already living here, it builds trust and balance. The response then moves beyond blame to explore what’s really driving public fear: rapid change, overstretched services, and communities feeling ignored. This approach recognises legitimate anxieties without endorsing hostility. It’s a clear example of a LEAP IN— listening first, finding shared moral ground, and speaking with calm honesty rather than opposition.
An important note: In this quiz, we are looking for the best of the alternatives given. Some responses might be reasonable things to say, but one choice is usually the most skillful option for that moment in the conversation. Focus on whether the response reflects good LEAP IN communication skills — rather than whether you personally agree with it. For example, if an answer begins with “I can see that we both value…” remember it’s attempting to use a communication skill (naming shared values), even if you don’t personally share that view.
Context:
One evening, you’re at home with a close friend. As you chat over dinner, the topic of climate change comes up. Your friend, who’s deeply concerned about the environment, sighs and says: “I honestly don’t understand how people can still question Net Zero. It’s the bare minimum if we want a liveable future. Every delay — every new oil or gas licence — just makes the crisis worse. The science is clear, and yet politicians keep bowing to lobbyists and short-term profits. Anyone opposing Net Zero isn’t being ‘practical’ — they’re gambling with our planet and our children’s lives.”
Your friend is upset that people aren’t taking Net Zero seriously enough. Which response best shows that you’re listening and that you empathise with their perspective?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It demonstrates that you’re listening and that you empathise with your friend’s concern by accurately and compassionately paraphrasing their perspective. This response captures both the emotion and values behind their frustration, showing you’ve listened rather than prepared a rebuttal. That’s the essence of the Listen / Empathise / Paraphrase steps in LEAP IN. Choosing B builds trust and keeps the door open for a more balanced discussion.
Correct - Answer B is best.
B is best. It demonstrates that you’re listening and that you empathise with your friend’s concern by accurately and compassionately paraphrasing their perspective. This response captures both the emotion and values behind their frustration, showing you’ve listened rather than prepared a rebuttal. That’s the essence of the Listen / Empathise / Paraphrase steps in LEAP IN. Choosing B builds trust and keeps the door open for a more balanced discussion.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It demonstrates that you’re listening and that you empathise with your friend’s concern by accurately and compassionately paraphrasing their perspective. This response captures both the emotion and values behind their frustration, showing you’ve listened rather than prepared a rebuttal. That’s the essence of the Listen / Empathise / Paraphrase steps in LEAP IN. Choosing B builds trust and keeps the door open for a more balanced discussion.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It demonstrates that you’re listening and that you empathise with your friend’s concern by accurately and compassionately paraphrasing their perspective. This response captures both the emotion and values behind their frustration, showing you’ve listened rather than prepared a rebuttal. That’s the essence of the Listen / Empathise / Paraphrase steps in LEAP IN. Choosing B builds trust and keeps the door open for a more balanced discussion.
Your friend continues: “Exactly. We’re one of the richest countries in the world — we can’t keep making excuses. The UK promised Net Zero by 2050, but we’re still approving new oil and gas projects, delaying home-insulation schemes, and watering down green targets. Meanwhile, we’re already seeing the effects of climate change — more frequent heatwaves, floods, and disruptions to global food supplies that drive up costs. It’s infuriating. We have the science, the money, and the technology — what’s missing is political will. Every year we delay makes the transition harder and more expensive for the next generation.”
You’ve listened so far. What’s the best open-ended question now?
Correct - Answer A is best.
Answer A asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your friend’s deeper fears and motivations — whether they’re rooted in environmental anxiety, moral conviction, or intergenerational justice. This reflects the Ask step of LEAP IN: seeking understanding before responding. Choosing A keeps the focus on listening, helping you uncover shared values before exploring practical differences.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your friend’s deeper fears and motivations — whether they’re rooted in environmental anxiety, moral conviction, or intergenerational justice. This reflects the Ask step of LEAP IN: seeking understanding before responding. Choosing A keeps the focus on listening, helping you uncover shared values before exploring practical differences.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your friend’s deeper fears and motivations — whether they’re rooted in environmental anxiety, moral conviction, or intergenerational justice. This reflects the Ask step of LEAP IN: seeking understanding before responding. Choosing A keeps the focus on listening, helping you uncover shared values before exploring practical differences.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A asks an open, non-judgmental question that shows genuine curiosity about your friend’s deeper fears and motivations — whether they’re rooted in environmental anxiety, moral conviction, or intergenerational justice. This reflects the Ask step of LEAP IN: seeking understanding before responding. Choosing A keeps the focus on listening, helping you uncover shared values before exploring practical differences.
Your friend responds: “I’d say both, honestly. The environmental impact terrifies me — we’re already seeing what happens when we delay. But it’s also about integrity. The UK made a promise to lead, and breaking that promise feels like moral failure. We’ve built our wealth from fossil fuels for over a century, and now that we know the damage it’s caused, we have a duty to act. Every tonne of carbon we emit now makes the problem worse for our children. If we can afford wars and bailouts, we can afford to invest in clean energy and insulation. What worries me most is that the longer we hesitate, the more chaotic and costly the transition will become — and the more people will suffer, especially in poorer parts of the world.”
You’ve listened, empathised, asked, and paraphrased — now it’s time to practice offering your input, making sure you use I-statements and name your shared values. Which is the best response to model the “IN” steps of LEAP IN?
Not quite. Answer D is best.
D is best. It begins by naming your shared values before introducing your input through I-statements (“I care…”, “I think…”). This approach shows that you’re listening and that you value what matters to your friend, even while expressing a different concern. By keeping the tone calm and personal, it roots the conversation in mutual respect rather than disagreement.
Not quite. Answer D is best.
D is best. It begins by naming your shared values before introducing your input through I-statements (“I care…”, “I think…”). This approach shows that you’re listening and that you value what matters to your friend, even while expressing a different concern. By keeping the tone calm and personal, it roots the conversation in mutual respect rather than disagreement.
Not quite. Answer D is best.
D is best. It begins by naming your shared values before introducing your input through I-statements (“I care…”, “I think…”). This approach shows that you’re listening and that you value what matters to your friend, even while expressing a different concern. By keeping the tone calm and personal, it roots the conversation in mutual respect rather than disagreement.
Correct - Answer D is best.
D is best. It begins by naming your shared values before introducing your input through I-statements (“I care…”, “I think…”). This approach shows that you’re listening and that you value what matters to your friend, even while expressing a different concern. By keeping the tone calm and personal, it roots the conversation in mutual respect rather than disagreement.
Your friend responds “I get that — I really do. But I think we have to remember that the working class doesn’t stop at our borders. Climate breakdown is already devastating livelihoods in poorer countries — farmers losing crops, families displaced by floods, whole economies collapsing. Those people are working class too, just born somewhere else. If we slow down our transition because we’re worried about short-term costs here, it’s the poorest people globally who pay the highest price. And even here in the UK, investing in green jobs and home insulation could actually help working-class communities — cheaper energy bills, more secure work, cleaner air. To me, it’s not a choice between justice and the environment — we either build a fair green economy or we all suffer together later.”
Now it’s your turn to respond, again making sure that when you offer your input, you use I-statements and name the shared values you’ve both identified — fairness, global justice, and care for the future. Which is the best closing statement?
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It begins by recognising and validating your friend’s global concern, then introduces your own view through I-statements (“I hear…”, “I think…”). This response keeps the conversation anchored in shared moral values — fairness, compassion, and responsibility — while reframing the challenge as one of how to achieve just outcomes for everyone. By linking global justice to local fairness, it models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN: affirming connection, sharing perspective, and ending with a sense of common purpose rather than opposition.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It begins by recognising and validating your friend’s global concern, then introduces your own view through I-statements (“I hear…”, “I think…”). This response keeps the conversation anchored in shared moral values — fairness, compassion, and responsibility — while reframing the challenge as one of how to achieve just outcomes for everyone. By linking global justice to local fairness, it models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN: affirming connection, sharing perspective, and ending with a sense of common purpose rather than opposition.
Correct - Answer C is best.
C is best. It begins by recognising and validating your friend’s global concern, then introduces your own view through I-statements (“I hear…”, “I think…”). This response keeps the conversation anchored in shared moral values — fairness, compassion, and responsibility — while reframing the challenge as one of how to achieve just outcomes for everyone. By linking global justice to local fairness, it models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN: affirming connection, sharing perspective, and ending with a sense of common purpose rather than opposition.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It begins by recognising and validating your friend’s global concern, then introduces your own view through I-statements (“I hear…”, “I think…”). This response keeps the conversation anchored in shared moral values — fairness, compassion, and responsibility — while reframing the challenge as one of how to achieve just outcomes for everyone. By linking global justice to local fairness, it models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN: affirming connection, sharing perspective, and ending with a sense of common purpose rather than opposition.
An important note: In this quiz, we are looking for the best of the alternatives given. Some responses might be reasonable things to say, but one choice is usually the most skillful option for that moment in the conversation. Focus on whether the response reflects good LEAP IN communication skills — rather than whether you personally agree with it. For example, if an answer begins with “I can see that we both value…” remember it’s attempting to use a communication skill (naming shared values), even if you don’t personally share that view.
Context:
One evening, you’re catching up with a close friend after work. The news is showing protests about new oil and gas projects, and the conversation turns to Net Zero. Your friend sighs and says:“Honestly, I’m not against protecting the planet — but this whole Net Zero agenda has gone way too far. The targets sound good on paper, but in reality they’re wrecking our industries and punishing ordinary people who can barely afford to heat their homes. Meanwhile, we’re becoming more dependent on China for solar panels, batteries, and rare earth materials — how is that secure or sustainable? It’s like we’re trading one kind of dependence for another. And no one talks about the global conflict risks of destabilising our own energy supply. Look at the divisions it’s already causing here — farmers, drivers, working-class communities all being told they’re the problem. It feels like a recipe for resentment and even social unrest. We need a plan that protects the environment and keeps the country stable and self-reliant — not one that tears us apart.”
Your friend thinks the UK’s Net Zero policies are harmful and unfair. What is the best way to respond, using the Listen, Empathise, and Paraphrase steps of LEAP IN?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It shows genuine listening by restating your friend’s feelings and core concerns — fairness, affordability, and stability — without judgement or rebuttal. You paraphrase clearly and acknowledge their perspective, signalling empathy and curiosity rather than opposition. This approach models the Listen, Empathise, and Paraphrase steps of LEAP IN, creating space for deeper understanding and mutual respect.
Correct - Answer B is best.
B is best. It shows genuine listening by restating your friend’s feelings and core concerns — fairness, affordability, and stability — without judgement or rebuttal. You paraphrase clearly and acknowledge their perspective, signalling empathy and curiosity rather than opposition. This approach models the Listen, Empathise, and Paraphrase steps of LEAP IN, creating space for deeper understanding and mutual respect.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It shows genuine listening by restating your friend’s feelings and core concerns — fairness, affordability, and stability — without judgement or rebuttal. You paraphrase clearly and acknowledge their perspective, signalling empathy and curiosity rather than opposition. This approach models the Listen, Empathise, and Paraphrase steps of LEAP IN, creating space for deeper understanding and mutual respect.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It shows genuine listening by restating your friend’s feelings and core concerns — fairness, affordability, and stability — without judgement or rebuttal. You paraphrase clearly and acknowledge their perspective, signalling empathy and curiosity rather than opposition. This approach models the Listen, Empathise, and Paraphrase steps of LEAP IN, creating space for deeper understanding and mutual respect.
Your friend nods and continues passionately: “Exactly. Everyone agrees we need to protect the planet, but the way Net Zero’s being done is a mess. We’re forcing people to replace cars and boilers they can’t afford, while countries like China and India keep building coal plants. How is that fair? Ordinary families here are paying the price for policies that don’t even make a dent in global emissions. Meanwhile, we’re losing skilled jobs in steel and manufacturing, and importing the same products from abroad with higher carbon footprints. It’s not climate action — it’s economic self-harm. If we really cared about the planet, we’d invest in British innovation and build energy independence instead of following unrealistic targets that divide the country.”
You’ve listened so far. What’s the best open-ended question to model the Ask step of LEAP IN — showing genuine curiosity about your friend’s deeper concerns and values?
Correct - Answer A is best.
Answer A invites your friend to share their reasoning and sense of fairness without judgement, keeping the focus on solutions and values rather than opposition. By asking what they think would be fairer, you show curiosity and respect for their expertise and experience. This models the Ask step of LEAP IN — opening space for dialogue rather than debate.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A invites your friend to share their reasoning and sense of fairness without judgement, keeping the focus on solutions and values rather than opposition. By asking what they think would be fairer, you show curiosity and respect for their expertise and experience. This models the Ask step of LEAP IN — opening space for dialogue rather than debate.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A invites your friend to share their reasoning and sense of fairness without judgement, keeping the focus on solutions and values rather than opposition. By asking what they think would be fairer, you show curiosity and respect for their expertise and experience. This models the Ask step of LEAP IN — opening space for dialogue rather than debate.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A invites your friend to share their reasoning and sense of fairness without judgement, keeping the focus on solutions and values rather than opposition. By asking what they think would be fairer, you show curiosity and respect for their expertise and experience. This models the Ask step of LEAP IN — opening space for dialogue rather than debate.
Your friend responds: “That’s a fair question. I’m not against cutting emissions — of course we need to. I just think the current plan is punishing the wrong people. Working families can’t afford £10,000 heat pumps or £40,000 electric cars, while the wealthy get subsidies and tax breaks. It’s dividing the country. If we invested properly in nuclear, British-made renewables, and modern insulation instead of rushing to ban everything, we could hit the same targets without wrecking livelihoods. Climate action should unite the country — not make people choose between heating their homes and helping the planet.”
You’ve listened, empathised, asked, and paraphrased — now it’s time to practice offering your input, making sure you use I-statements and name your shared values. Which is the best response to model the “IN” steps of LEAP IN?
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It uses I-statements (“I hear…”, “I care…”, “I think…”) and names shared values like fairness, security, and unity — showing genuine empathy for your friend’s concerns. Rather than arguing, it reframes the conversation around common goals: protecting both people and planet. This models the input and name steps of LEAP IN — sharing your perspective calmly and constructively, grounded in shared values, not opposition.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It uses I-statements (“I hear…”, “I care…”, “I think…”) and names shared values like fairness, security, and unity — showing genuine empathy for your friend’s concerns. Rather than arguing, it reframes the conversation around common goals: protecting both people and planet. This models the input and name steps of LEAP IN — sharing your perspective calmly and constructively, grounded in shared values, not opposition.
Correct - Answer C is best.
C is best. It uses I-statements (“I hear…”, “I care…”, “I think…”) and names shared values like fairness, security, and unity — showing genuine empathy for your friend’s concerns. Rather than arguing, it reframes the conversation around common goals: protecting both people and planet. This models the input and name steps of LEAP IN — sharing your perspective calmly and constructively, grounded in shared values, not opposition.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It uses I-statements (“I hear…”, “I care…”, “I think…”) and names shared values like fairness, security, and unity — showing genuine empathy for your friend’s concerns. Rather than arguing, it reframes the conversation around common goals: protecting both people and planet. This models the input and name steps of LEAP IN — sharing your perspective calmly and constructively, grounded in shared values, not opposition.
Your friend sighs and says: “I get what you’re saying about fairness and unity — it sounds great in theory. But that’s not how it’s playing out. The reality is that ‘green jobs’ mostly end up in cities, while working-class towns are left behind. Energy bills are rising, the grid can’t cope, and we’re importing most of our solar panels and batteries from China. It feels like we’re handing over control to other countries while asking ordinary people to pay the price. I’m not against cleaner energy — I just don’t think Net Zero, as it stands, is fair or achievable. It’s dividing people more than it’s bringing them together.”
You’ve listened carefully — now it’s time to practise how to offer your input and name shared values again, using I-statements to stay grounded and constructive. Which response best models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It begins with empathy (“I hear you”) and names your shared concern — fairness and the need for local opportunity. It uses I-statements and focuses on solutions that build inclusion and trust (“We can fix it by investing… retraining… making sure green jobs reach…”). This models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, showing how to express your own values (fairness, security, sustainability) while acknowledging your friend’s frustrations. By staying grounded in shared purpose rather than opposition, B keeps the dialogue constructive and collaborative.
Correct - Answer B is best.
B is best. It begins with empathy (“I hear you”) and names your shared concern — fairness and the need for local opportunity. It uses I-statements and focuses on solutions that build inclusion and trust (“We can fix it by investing… retraining… making sure green jobs reach…”). This models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, showing how to express your own values (fairness, security, sustainability) while acknowledging your friend’s frustrations. By staying grounded in shared purpose rather than opposition, B keeps the dialogue constructive and collaborative.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It begins with empathy (“I hear you”) and names your shared concern — fairness and the need for local opportunity. It uses I-statements and focuses on solutions that build inclusion and trust (“We can fix it by investing… retraining… making sure green jobs reach…”). This models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, showing how to express your own values (fairness, security, sustainability) while acknowledging your friend’s frustrations. By staying grounded in shared purpose rather than opposition, B keeps the dialogue constructive and collaborative.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. It begins with empathy (“I hear you”) and names your shared concern — fairness and the need for local opportunity. It uses I-statements and focuses on solutions that build inclusion and trust (“We can fix it by investing… retraining… making sure green jobs reach…”). This models the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, showing how to express your own values (fairness, security, sustainability) while acknowledging your friend’s frustrations. By staying grounded in shared purpose rather than opposition, B keeps the dialogue constructive and collaborative.
An important note: In this quiz, we are looking for the best of the alternatives given. Some responses might be reasonable things to say, but one choice is usually the most skillful option for that moment in the conversation. Focus on whether the response reflects good LEAP IN communication skills — rather than whether you personally agree with it. For example, if an answer begins with “I can see that we both value…” remember it’s attempting to use a communication skill (naming shared values), even if you don’t personally share that view.
Context:
You’re catching up with a close friend one evening over tea. The conversation turns to current affairs, and she starts talking about the debate around gender and women’s rights. Your friend, a devoted feminist, says “I’m sorry, I just think this has all gone too far. If any man can say ‘I’m a woman’ and get into women’s changing rooms or compete in women’s sports, it’s not safe or fair. Women fought hard for our rights and spaces, and now it feels like those hard-won gains are being tossed aside. And if I even mention this, I get called a transphobe!”
Your friend is upset about women’s safety in changing rooms. What’s the best response to demonstrate Listening, Empathy and Paraphrasing?
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It demonstrates listening and empathy by paraphrasing her concerns (safety and fairness) without judgment. This shows you’re actively listening and respecting her perspective. The other choices either attack her (A), dismiss her feelings (B), or avoid the issue (D), any of which would likely shut down the conversation. C helps her feel heard and keeps the dialogue respectful (the LEAP IN Listen/Empathise steps).
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It demonstrates listening and empathy by paraphrasing her concerns (safety and fairness) without judgment. This shows you’re actively listening and respecting her perspective. The other choices either attack her (A), dismiss her feelings (B), or avoid the issue (D), any of which would likely shut down the conversation. C helps her feel heard and keeps the dialogue respectful (the LEAP IN Listen/Empathise steps).
Correct - Answer C is best.
C is best. It demonstrates listening and empathy by paraphrasing her concerns (safety and fairness) without judgment. This shows you’re actively listening and respecting her perspective. The other choices either attack her (A), dismiss her feelings (B), or avoid the issue (D), any of which would likely shut down the conversation. C helps her feel heard and keeps the dialogue respectful (the LEAP IN Listen/Empathise steps).
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It demonstrates listening and empathy by paraphrasing her concerns (safety and fairness) without judgment. This shows you’re actively listening and respecting her perspective. The other choices either attack her (A), dismiss her feelings (B), or avoid the issue (D), any of which would likely shut down the conversation. C helps her feel heard and keeps the dialogue respectful (the LEAP IN Listen/Empathise steps).
Your friend continues, “Exactly. It’s common sense to me. I don’t care if someone’s trans, I really don’t, but I don’t want to be made to feel cruel for pointing out biological reality. Like, I read about a convicted male sex offender who got into a women’s prison by claiming to be female. How is that safe? I just wish we could talk about this without being shouted down.”
You’ve listened. What is the best question to ask, using your LEAP IN skills?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask an open-ended, empathetic question, inviting your friend to explain her viewpoint (“what do you wish others understood?”). This shows genuine interest in her concerns and invites her to share more about her feelings and experiences, keeping the focus on understanding (Ask step).
Correct - Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask an open-ended, empathetic question, inviting your friend to explain her viewpoint (“what do you wish others understood?”). This shows genuine interest in her concerns and invites her to share more about her feelings and experiences, keeping the focus on understanding (Ask step).
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask an open-ended, empathetic question, inviting your friend to explain her viewpoint (“what do you wish others understood?”). This shows genuine interest in her concerns and invites her to share more about her feelings and experiences, keeping the focus on understanding (Ask step).
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask an open-ended, empathetic question, inviting your friend to explain her viewpoint (“what do you wish others understood?”). This shows genuine interest in her concerns and invites her to share more about her feelings and experiences, keeping the focus on understanding (Ask step).
Your friend responds “I wish people understood that women’s safety concerns aren’t just hysteria. The prison and refuge system has had real cases where male offenders self-identified as female and were placed with vulnerable women. It’s not about rejecting trans people; it’s about recognising that biological sex still matters.What really worries me is how far this goes beyond just changing rooms or prisons. We’re seeing the word ‘woman’ being erased from public language and policy — replaced with vague terms like ‘birthing people’ or ‘chest feeders’. That might sound minor, but it chips away at the ability to name female experience at all. And then there’s the impact on children. More and more young people are being fast-tracked into medical interventions — puberty blockers, surgeries — before they can fully understand the consequences. From my perspective, that’s not progress; it’s a safeguarding crisis. Women fought hard for sex-based protections, and it’s completely reasonable to want those boundaries and definitions handled with care, not dismissed as bigotry.”
You’ve listened, empathised, asked, and paraphrased — now it’s time to practice offering your input, making sure you use I-statements and name your shared values.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
Answer C offers your input using I-statements (“I really appreciate…”, “I care deeply…”, “I think…”) and names shared values of safety and compassion. It validates your friend’s genuine concerns while expressing your own perspective in a grounded and humane way — modelling the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, which focus on connecting through shared moral ground rather than opposing positions.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
Answer C offers your input using I-statements (“I really appreciate…”, “I care deeply…”, “I think…”) and names shared values of safety and compassion. It validates your friend’s genuine concerns while expressing your own perspective in a grounded and humane way — modelling the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, which focus on connecting through shared moral ground rather than opposing positions.
Correct - Answer C is best.
Answer C offers your input using I-statements (“I really appreciate…”, “I care deeply…”, “I think…”) and names shared values of safety and compassion. It validates your friend’s genuine concerns while expressing your own perspective in a grounded and humane way — modelling the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, which focus on connecting through shared moral ground rather than opposing positions.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
Answer C offers your input using I-statements (“I really appreciate…”, “I care deeply…”, “I think…”) and names shared values of safety and compassion. It validates your friend’s genuine concerns while expressing your own perspective in a grounded and humane way — modelling the Input and Name steps of LEAP IN, which focus on connecting through shared moral ground rather than opposing positions.
She replies calmly, “I get that you care about trans people, and of course I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I still feel that someone born male shouldn’t be in women’s spaces. It’s not about hatred — it’s about safeguarding. Women’s refuges, changing rooms, and prisons were created because of the reality of male violence, and sex remains a key risk factor. Even if most trans women mean no harm, policies should be based on protecting the most vulnerable, not on ideology. Maybe we just see this differently.”
What’s the best response which offers your input using i-statements, and names your shared values?
Correct - Answer A is best.
A is best. It names your shared concern of women’s safety first before emphasising that you have different ideas. When you offer your input, you do so using I-statements to make it clear that you are only sharing your opinion and do not view your perspective as the only valid one. This respectful response (using LEAP IN’s input/name approach) closes the conversation positively by ending the discussion on common ground and mutual respect, which is the goal of a productive LEAP IN dialogue.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
A is best. It names your shared concern of women’s safety first before emphasising that you have different ideas. When you offer your input, you do so using I-statements to make it clear that you are only sharing your opinion and do not view your perspective as the only valid one. This respectful response (using LEAP IN’s input/name approach) closes the conversation positively by ending the discussion on common ground and mutual respect, which is the goal of a productive LEAP IN dialogue.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
A is best. It names your shared concern of women’s safety first before emphasising that you have different ideas. When you offer your input, you do so using I-statements to make it clear that you are only sharing your opinion and do not view your perspective as the only valid one. This respectful response (using LEAP IN’s input/name approach) closes the conversation positively by ending the discussion on common ground and mutual respect, which is the goal of a productive LEAP IN dialogue.
Not quite. Answer A is best.
A is best. It names your shared concern of women’s safety first before emphasising that you have different ideas. When you offer your input, you do so using I-statements to make it clear that you are only sharing your opinion and do not view your perspective as the only valid one. This respectful response (using LEAP IN’s input/name approach) closes the conversation positively by ending the discussion on common ground and mutual respect, which is the goal of a productive LEAP IN dialogue.
An important note: In this quiz, we are looking for the best of the alternatives given. Some responses might be reasonable things to say, but one choice is usually the most skillful option for that moment in the conversation. Focus on whether the response reflects good LEAP IN communication skills — rather than whether you personally agree with it. For example, if an answer begins with “I can see that we both value…” remember it’s attempting to use a communication skill (naming shared values), even if you don’t personally share that view.
Context:
You’re catching up with a close friend one evening over tea. The conversation turns to current affairs, and he starts talking about the debate around gender and trans rights. Your friend, a committed advocate for trans inclusion, says “I honestly don’t understand why this issue gets blown up the way it does. There’s no credible evidence that trans women make women’s spaces less safe — studies and safeguarding reviews across multiple countries have shown no increase in risk. Meanwhile, trans women themselves face extremely high rates of harassment, assault, and even murder. They’re not the threat; they’re often the ones most in danger. All this moral panic just fuels stigma and makes life harder for people who are already vulnerable.”
Your friend is frustrated by how much resistance there is to recognising trans women in women’s spaces. Using your LEAP IN skills, what’s the best response to show that you're listening and that you empathise with his position?
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It shows you’re listening and that you empathise by paraphrasing his view. This validates his feelings, setting the stage for a respectful conversation (using the LEAP steps Listen/Empathise/Paraphrase).
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It shows you’re listening and that you empathise by paraphrasing his view. This validates his feelings, setting the stage for a respectful conversation (using the LEAP steps Listen/Empathise/Paraphrase).
Correct - Answer C is best.
C is best. It shows you’re listening and that you empathise by paraphrasing his view. This validates his feelings, setting the stage for a respectful conversation (using the LEAP steps Listen/Empathise/Paraphrase).
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is best. It shows you’re listening and that you empathise by paraphrasing his view. This validates his feelings, setting the stage for a respectful conversation (using the LEAP steps Listen/Empathise/Paraphrase).
He goes on, “Exactly. It’s so frustrating. A close friend of mine is trans, and I’ve seen the kind of hostility she faces just for using the women’s bathroom at work. Some colleagues whisper or stare, and a few even complained to HR. It’s exhausting for her — she just wants to do her job and feel normal. The reality is, most trans people spend their lives trying to avoid conflict, not cause it. I read that the majority of trans employees hide parts of who they are at work because they’re afraid of discrimination. If more people actually heard those stories, they’d realise there’s no threat — just people trying to feel safe.”
You’ve listened. What is the best question to ask, using your LEAP IN skills?
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask a compassionate, open-ended question that invites him to explain what he hopes others would understand about trans people. This shows you’re genuinely trying to learn his perspective. By keeping the focus on understanding his experiences (the Ask step) you create the space necessary to continue the dialogue and increase the likelihood that he will hear your perspective in response.
Correct - Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask a compassionate, open-ended question that invites him to explain what he hopes others would understand about trans people. This shows you’re genuinely trying to learn his perspective. By keeping the focus on understanding his experiences (the Ask step) you create the space necessary to continue the dialogue and increase the likelihood that he will hear your perspective in response.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask a compassionate, open-ended question that invites him to explain what he hopes others would understand about trans people. This shows you’re genuinely trying to learn his perspective. By keeping the focus on understanding his experiences (the Ask step) you create the space necessary to continue the dialogue and increase the likelihood that he will hear your perspective in response.
Not quite. Answer B is best.
B is best. You ask a compassionate, open-ended question that invites him to explain what he hopes others would understand about trans people. This shows you’re genuinely trying to learn his perspective. By keeping the focus on understanding his experiences (the Ask step) you create the space necessary to continue the dialogue and increase the likelihood that he will hear your perspective in response.
Your friend responds “I’d want them to understand how exhausting it is to constantly have to prove you deserve to be somewhere. For a lot of trans people, every normal situation — using the loo, introducing yourself in a meeting, even having your photo on a staff board — can become a source of anxiety. Many end up editing themselves all day just to avoid conflict. Trans people are way more likely to face microaggressions or be passed over for promotion, and that kind of constant pressure is horrible to live with. It’s not about demanding special treatment, it’s about being able to do your job and live your life without being reduced to your gender identity all the time.”
You’ve listened, empathised, asked, and paraphrased — now it’s time to practice offering your input, making sure you use I-statements and name your shared values.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is the best response. It begins by recognising your friend’s experience and naming a shared value — that everyone deserves dignity and safety at work. You use “I” statements (“I also understand why some people of faith feel uneasy…”) and then introduce your input using I-statements in a calm, thoughtful way. Rather than rejecting his view, you look for common ground and explore how workplaces can create solutions that help all employees feel respected.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is the best response. It begins by recognising your friend’s experience and naming a shared value — that everyone deserves dignity and safety at work. You use “I” statements (“I also understand why some people of faith feel uneasy…”) and then introduce your input using I-statements in a calm, thoughtful way. Rather than rejecting his view, you look for common ground and explore how workplaces can create solutions that help all employees feel respected.
Correct - Answer C is best.
C is the best response. It begins by recognising your friend’s experience and naming a shared value — that everyone deserves dignity and safety at work. You use “I” statements (“I also understand why some people of faith feel uneasy…”) and then introduce your input using I-statements in a calm, thoughtful way. Rather than rejecting his view, you look for common ground and explore how workplaces can create solutions that help all employees feel respected.
Not quite. Answer C is best.
C is the best response. It begins by recognising your friend’s experience and naming a shared value — that everyone deserves dignity and safety at work. You use “I” statements (“I also understand why some people of faith feel uneasy…”) and then introduce your input using I-statements in a calm, thoughtful way. Rather than rejecting his view, you look for common ground and explore how workplaces can create solutions that help all employees feel respected.
Your friend replies "I do hear that, and I respect that faith and culture play a big role in how people see gender — but I think we have to be careful that those beliefs don’t end up being used to justify exclusion. In most workplaces, trans women have been using women’s bathrooms quietly for years without incident. The idea that inclusion somehow threatens others just isn’t reasonable. I think respect has to go both ways — people of faith can keep their beliefs, but they don’t get to decide which of their colleagues are ‘real’ women.”
Which is the best use of LEAP IN skills?
Correct - Answer A is best.
Answer A recognises your friend’s feelings and names shared concerns for fairness, safety, and dignity at work. You offer your input using I-statements and then broaden the frame to include everyone affected — trans people, women who feel uneasy, and people of faith. By suggesting practical solutions such as privacy design and clear policies, you show a constructive way forward.
Not Quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A recognises your friend’s feelings and names shared concerns for fairness, safety, and dignity at work. You offer your input using I-statements and then broaden the frame to include everyone affected — trans people, women who feel uneasy, and people of faith. By suggesting practical solutions such as privacy design and clear policies, you show a constructive way forward.
Not Quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A recognises your friend’s feelings and names shared concerns for fairness, safety, and dignity at work. You offer your input using I-statements and then broaden the frame to include everyone affected — trans people, women who feel uneasy, and people of faith. By suggesting practical solutions such as privacy design and clear policies, you show a constructive way forward.
Not Quite. Answer A is best.
Answer A recognises your friend’s feelings and names shared concerns for fairness, safety, and dignity at work. You offer your input using I-statements and then broaden the frame to include everyone affected — trans people, women who feel uneasy, and people of faith. By suggesting practical solutions such as privacy design and clear policies, you show a constructive way forward.
Give the speaker your full, undivided attention. Don’t interrupt or jump in with counter-arguments.
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings or point of view, even if you don’t agree. Say something that shows you understand how they feel.
Invite the other person to explain more. Use open-ended questions to learn what’s really on their mind.
After they speak, repeat back in your own words what you heard, to check understanding.
When it’s your turn to speak, frame your thoughts in terms of your own experience and feelings, not as a judgment on the other person.
Find and state something you both agree on. This might be a shared value, a mutual concern, or a common goal.